Direct External Influence – Our Family and Immediate Environment
We are social beings that rarely make choices in isolation from outside forces. Our social influences, personal relationships and physical environment have a significant and direct effect on our choices, daily actions and thus shaping our lives.
- Relationships. The very nature of self evolves through our relationships, for better or worse.
- Environment. Environmental factors such as clutter, pollution and noise impact our brain and cultivate our thinking. If the environment is positive, organized and calm, then naturally you will be calm. If it is not, we can be driven to thinking in a negative or disorganized manner. The main benefit of an organized environment is not to look tidy, but for our well-being.
So What?
Awareness is key! The more we are aware of the ideals placed upon us by those close to us and our true ideals, the better position we will be in to live our lives with fulfilment.
Situation: Most of my close friends are married and having kids while I am single and currently focused on my career. I feel regular pressure to get married from close family and friends.
| EXAMPLE | DEFAULT RESPONSE: | INTENTIONAL LIVING RESPONSE: |
| Thought: | I am letting them down my family with my choices and priorities. | I recognize that pressure to get married comes from my family’s definition of success. I know that they simply wish the best for me and are showing it in ways they know how. |
| Feeling: | Unsupported / Misunderstood / Judged | Loved / Supported |
| Action: | Start avoiding close family and friendsRuminating on life choices. | Acknowledge their support and let them know about your priorities |
| Outcome: | Isolation and loneliness are amplified. Lack of clarity on life priorities. | Go and enjoy hanging out with your friends Continued focus on life priorities in line with my own values and definition of success. |
Reference: [1]