RESPOND accordingly (vs REACT automatically)

An intentional RESPONSE is internally engineered to achieve a desired outcome, while a REACTION may or may not take the desired outcome into account. Reacting is emotional, responding is emotional intelligence.

There are 3 key paths to consider in an intentional RESPONSE:

1. First and foremost, ACCEPT the things I cannot change

Acceptance is not defeat. It is not giving up and saying something is okay. Acceptance is an active choice to see reality as it is and move forward.

The faster we accept the things that we cannot change, the better off we are. Very simply put ANY effort spent on things we cannot change is a WASTE of our energy.

This includes WORRYING about the things that I cannot change.

2. LEAVE IT – Does this even matter to you and your life?

Even if we have control and CAN do something, doesn’t mean we should. Alternative we can:

Share it. See who else can help us.  

Wait it out. Sometimes waiting for problem to solve itself or waiting for someone else to solve it is more effective then trying to do so yourself.

Laugh at it. If you can laugh at yourself or your predicament it will lift your mood and boost your ability to cope, no matter what the outcome.

Reframe it. Change your perspective. Can you put a different spin on it?

  • Use the experience to learn something new or challenge yourself
  • Silver lining – another door opening or other methaphoric opportunities?
  • The way we think about the problem fundamentally influeces how we respond to it and an optimistic outlook is helpful whether the problem is solvable or not.

3. DECIDE on purpose what to do with the things that are in your control and matter.

IF yes, and want to actively solve your problem – then solve it!

Brainstorm all the solutions. Write them all down – even if silly or unrealistic!

Choose course of action. Pick out top 3 – write out pros/cons for each. Choose one that is most beneficial and effective based on pros/cons list

Load your Backlog (and Daily Plans). Break down plan into daily rocks and pre-load into your personal Backlog.

Reflect during your Daily I.Liv. Assess on progress as you go:

  • If successful, great – if not, choose another idea on your life
  • Complex changes / problems will require more then 1 attempt