OBSERVE – Evidence-based Version

What do you mean Observe?

First key step in our response. To offer a proper response to any situation we must first get an evidence-based version of situation, in calm-down mode. This is a skill to be developed that lays the foundation for intentional living and making changes.  

Its not just a case of us being our own drama queen. Our brain often fills in the gaps into different situation using previous experiences and knowledge, to help us be more efficient. Yet sometimes this leads to tricky situations!  Through practice, we raise our ability to observe what is factually happening without automatically applying personal interpretations and filters.

Reference: [1] 

How to separate facts from our perception of reality?

1. Pause and breathe, reset yourself before recapping the story (to yourself). Always feel free to add flair for fun-factor only!
2. Write out your initial version of what is happening and then go back through your story to identify provable facts that would stand up in court.
3. Challenge your own thinking.
4. Check it over with a neutral party.
5. Personal Standard Operating Procedures – design ‘Rules of engagement’ for familiar patterns. (Ex. I always escalate my work situation, I will remind myself that I’m not saving lives and its just a hectic work day, which I don’t control. I do my best and then I get to come home to my family)

Reference: [2]