Previous Learn

Self-Care is Not Enough

The Bottom Line – Self-Care is not enough, HOW MUCH we take on matters!

  • Regular self-care practices go a long way to build and maintain our overall wellbeing, but they are not the be-all and end-all in preventing burnout and guilt.
  • We simply must be realistic in HOW MUCH we take on daily. Spreading ourselves too thin doing *all* the things day-in and day-out will lead us to burnout, one way or another. Living under the expectation of doing it *all* will leave us riddled with guilt.
  • At its core, I.Liv. practices work to enable us to set a realistic pace of accomplishing the most important things (and then magically watch the rest fall by the wayside).

What is needed beyond Self-Care? / Why is Self-Care not enough?

  • Learning about the impressive benefits of self-care of our body and mind might leave us feeling like all that is needed is to build these into our day and Volia – we will be superhuman and able to accomplish *all* the things stress-free. This just isn’t the case. The benefits are all true and we stand to reap significant benefits by actioning them, BUT we ALSO must start to be realistic with our time and HOW MUCH we can accomplish each day.
  • No matter what, we must remember that each day is fundamentally limited in time. Self-care can give us an energy boost or lessen the time we spend ruminating, which can lead to increased capacity to get more done, but those are incremental lifts.
  • We are best served with a daily focus on our priorities that minimize the effort spent, yet maximize the output achieved. This approach leads to the biggest and most sustainable way of Intentional Living. Let’s look to the classic 80/20 Business Rule for inspiration.

What is the 80/20 Rule?

  • The 80/20 Rule (a.k.a Pareto Principle): 80% of results will come from 20% of the action. It was identified in the 1800s and continues to hold true today in many ways:
    • Business Profit: 20% of customers account for 80% of total profits
    • Software Quality: 20% of most reported bugs cause 80% of software crashes/issues
    • Productivity: On a sales team, 20% of sales reps typically lead to 80% of total sales
  • This widely accepted principle is not an exact science, but a powerful rule of thumb that works for our personal life as well:
    • Clothes: From our (maybe large) closets, likely ~20% of our go-to items are worn to ~80% occasions.
    • Getting around town: From all the roads in our town, likely we use 20% to get around 80% of the time (to/from work, kid activities and life necessities like groceries, gas, etc.).
    • Living space: We might have 15 rooms in our house, but likely use 3 (bedroom, office and family room) for most of the day.

Why it matters?

  • Research shows that high achievers accept that they cannot do everything that is asked of them or even all that they would like to do. Instead, successful people practically apply the 80/20 in life to determine what is MOST important to get DONE. The rest is either delegated or simply not completed.

How?

  1. Accept that it is not possible to do it all!
  2. Define the goal clearly: What are we trying to achieve?
  3. Identify key value-drivers: The key is to find what 20% of our actions drive 80% of our desired outcomes. What are key levers that drive impact towards our goals?
  4. Action top priorities: Find the actions you can do today that move the needle on the key drivers and focus energy on those!
  5. Assess Results: Define outcomes, identify what is working and what is not and keep going!

Some examples:

Work as a freelancer: Stepping away from a regular paycheck to work on your own business is a big step. It might be tempting to work on *all* requests received, yet this is a likely path to burnout.  

  • Acceptance: Active recognition that it is not possible to do all the things. Look at your past days as examples – even when you tried, did you get it all done or did important tasks get left behind?
  • Goal: Maximize repeatable revenue streamIdentify Key drivers: Identify the best (likely also highest paying) clients that are also aligned with your core services and strategy.Action top priority: In setting daily intention, prioritize ‘best’ customers by delivering top-quality service and strengthening those relationships that pays off (literally) the most.
  • Assess Result: Quantify the wins, reflect on results and see how you can do better next time!
    • NOTE: Passing on small requests to strengthen core strategy can be counterintuitive yet focuses us on long-term success that creates win-win situations versus chasing endless new possibilities and small, dead-end tasks.
    • SUPRISING OUTCOMES: What can be surprising is that the ‘other’ requests will also benefit from this prioritization. Deep focus on core strategy will have you improve services (so we can easily respond to new requests) and learn about our ‘best’ customers (so we can more easily find more of them).

Organizing the house: We can easily spend full days, if not weeks, organizing our house to work better for our life, however that can seem overwhelming and/or be hard to prioritize.

  • Acceptance: Yes, it would be great to have a ‘perfect’ house, but is that impossible goal keeping you from making helpful changes on the regular?
  • Goal: House is organized to remove friction from key daily activities.
  • Identify Key drivers: Identify key activities and main friction points. For example, getting household ready for the day and out the door in time to start work meetings. What are the main challenges in accomplishing that goal each day?
  • Action top priority: Action top idea to remove friction from morning routine. Ex. Get kids an alarm clock, so you are not the only one blasting them to get up. Put workout clothes by the door, so you can just grab them on your way out. Create a dedicated area by the door for the keys, so you can grab-and-go.
  • Learn, Rise and Repeat: Identify what is working and what is not and keep applying the lessons!

Reference: [1]